Being Separated (January 1998)

For Pipke - November 1997 started off very well. 

We had a beautiful Autumn and it was already freezing. She had no problem with the cold. She had developed a good fat layer and - if she wasn't sleeping in her dogs nest/bed she spent most of her time swimming in her little pond. 

In between she enjoyed walking through the garden together with us to search after spiders and earthworms.

She now weighed almost two kg.

 

It was at the end of December, and the last few months I hadn't been feeling so good.

I always felt exhausted and I had become very skinny. (I barely weighed 49 kg!) Normally I ran every other day *9 km (*at that time) and now suddenly I even couldn't run one km. 
I got so bad, that I almost couldn't stay awake, I slept the whole day.

The week before, I had consulted my doctor and she had taken blood samples to find out what my problem was.

Very late on New Year's eve, she phoned me with the urgent message that I had to go immediately to the hospital the next morning.

My blood samples showed that I had probably had an internal bleeding.

 

My first thought was: “oh, and what about Pipke”!

I didn't think about myself! I was only worried for what an impact my absence would have on Pipke and, my doctor couldn't estimate how long I had to stay there.

With pain in my heart I left home to go to the hospital in the early morning that New Years day.

On the way to the hospital I couldn't stop crying because I had to leave Pipke behind.

Although I had not much time - the first thing I did when I entered my hospital room was to install  Pipke's picture on my night table. 

Thereafter - without delay - they took me immediately to the examination room.

I had to undergo many tests and the doctors gave me a full examination, but after a full day of examinations they couldn't find out what was wrong with me. 
The only thing that they could say was - that my blood results were very bad.  
They were sure that I must have had an internal bleeding – but they couldn't find out “where” it happened .

 

I stayed at the hospital for a whole month, I was only allowed to spend just one weekend home and that only after fourteen days.

When I then came back home after a fourth night - Pipke ignored me completely when she saw me again - it seemed like, to her, I didn't exist anymore.

She even didn't answer when I called for her – she wanted no more snuggles – it seemed as if she was angry with me. She remained cool and impassive.

In fact, this event touched me more than the fact that I was sick.

It even made me feel much worse.

When I had to leave her to go to the hospital again, I was really gloomy: would she forget about me now – was she angry with me because I had left her against my own will?

 

That same day I had to undergo once more several examinations at the hospital. 
I went through all kind of scanners – I became a real Guinea pig – my body was turned inside out in a manner of speaking.

Now – they had discovered that my blood results had even deteriorated after that weekend that I was at home, and behind my back they had asked my husband: 

"maybe your wife mutilates herself” ? That would declare the blood loss.

(This shows how medical science works these days.) 

If they can't find anything, then it's all in your head.

In fact, this shows rather their inability to cure “everything” and then they come up with the easiest – but not proven – explanation.

My husband was really furious, and I – I knew now “why” they had inspected my arms, my legs and every single spot on my body so thoroughly. 

They were actually looking for “cut wounds”, but of course - they couldn't find even one tiny scar! I didn't cut myself.

Maybe it was good that my blood results were bad, otherwise – they had maybe said that I was a "hypochondriac".

After one whole month being hospitalized I was allowed to go home without an explanation for my blood loss, and until this moment it's still a mystery!

(I had to take very strong iron pills for almost 6 months and it took me also that long to recover before I was able to function normally.)

 

It felt so good to be back home now. I had missed Pipke so much – but she still ignored me a little. I spent as much time with her as I could  to regain her love for me – and little by little – our bond grew again - even closer than ever before.

I knew now – how it had felt “to have no choice but to miss her”.

Now I knew that she made my life complete.

Due to my illness we didn't take pictures that year! 
Even no picture of Pipke - and that's something that I now still regret.

So - I can't show you much - only these two snapshots taken out the 
*film (*see below) which was taken in December 1998. 

It are the only images of us both that were taken that year - 
the year that I came to the conclusion that 
she was 

"My True Love"!

Wasn't she a sweetie!

I want to close this chapter with this love scene of us both!

I hope you will enjoy it.

Next time we will go further with: Help....Robbers!

We hope you will be there to discover who the rascals are.

Bye, bye!

Till soon.

PS: click on the link above to watch the film images.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for watching!

Little Critters Great and Small

When we moved into our new house, there were standing two grazing sheep on the meadow behind our garden. There was also a little shed for them close to our fence.

For us this was already country life.

One year later our neighbors sold the sheeps. To fill the void and to restrain the weeds so that the meadow would not drive wild, they bought two goats.

It was a nanny with her kid. The mother's name was Wanda and the little one got the name Irene. It was a lively little female, a real rascal. It jumped and ran lively around. It was endearing to see how the mom took care for her little one.  

The first time Pipke saw them, she really wasn't at ease. She looked at them astonished. Their bleating frightened her even a little. But after some time she got used to their noisy bleating and she was no longer afraid of them.

A few months later the neighbors bought also a few gees, all kind of chickens, and ducks.

It once started with two goats and now it had become a real menagerie.

Actually now the shed became too small for so many critters.

1994.
A view of the first old shed on the left in the background.

Somehow, now there was no more place enough to house and shelter them all.

Near the old shed in 1996.

My little granddaughter and I feeding and pampering the critters

Our neighbors knew that my hubby's hobby was carpentry and therefor they asked him to build a new and larger shed for them near the woodland.

And so he did. 

For them nothing was asked too much.

The *proud carpenter accompanied by Pipke 

at the new shed still under construction. 

Although - also I worked on the shed! I assisted *him with the laying of the roof tiles and to carry too heavy load. 

He always could count on me when he needed help, he even didn't need to ask for help.

A view from in our garden with in the background the new build shed.

Some time afterwards the menagerie was expanded with a billy goat and two horses.

It became now a real animal paradise! 
We really lost count on them.

When my hubby went to Pipke's pen in the morning, all the little critters were already present.

They could hear Pipke quacking, and to them that was the sign that there would be someone to feed them.

It was crowded and very rowdy then: screaming gees – quacking ducks – bleating goats, and neighing horses! The real sounds of the country side.

The very rutting billy goat has not been idle, he had done his thing with much devotion.

The result of his devotion was that: after only a few years there were already fourteen goats in total. The last year there was a season that there were even five newborn billy goats among them. It was so beautiful to see the newborns having their first romp in the meadow.

Unfortunately for the little critters: billy goats weren't at all welcome.

Now there were too many of them.

Already before, I had said to the neighbors: “but why don't you let castrate the father billy goat, there are already so many goats, it will be almost impossible for you to take care for so many”!

But - they wouldn't listen - and of course - it were their goats - not mine.

I had nothing to say on this.

Not long thereafter they decided to slaughter all the newborn billy goats.

(What happened with their father that I don't remember so well. If I'm not mistaken they sold him to a farmer who bred goats.)

They had asked someone who knows “something” about slaughtering animals to do the job for them.

The neighbors would help them to catch the animals.

I will never forget the afternoon that the slaughtering took place because it was such an horrible scene.

From a distance I saw the neighbors chasing after the animals to try to catch one, while the mothers started to panic and tried to defend their young. They even tried to attack the man while he was grabbing their little ones.

One by one the little ones were taken to the shed where the slaughter took place. Even from such a far away distance their scream sounded really horrible.

To hear and to behold all that cruelty was heartbreaking

My heart was bleeding for the critters.

I couldn't watch it no longer - I couldn't stand the screaming of the desperate mothers and their newborns any longer – so I went inside the house with tears in my eyes.

I felt so helpless and so angry - I wished that I could have done something to prevent this massacre.

I felt pity for these young billy goats.

I had seen them as tiny babies, so full of life and playful.

It was such a waste of young life. They wouldn't reach the age of one.

Oh, If it had been mine then …... but ..... they weren't mine.

A few years later another slaughter took place but, at the day that that happened, I didn't want to stay home.

I did not want to witness the suffering of animals one more time again.

At the end of that day there were no more goats alive.

An era had been closed.

From then on my friendly bond with the neighbors had received a severe blow.

I totally didn't agree with the way they treated their animals.

I no longer saw them as real friends. I just tolerated them. 
I never could understand that they could behave so cold, cruel and insensitive towards animals.

Now it was not nowhere near as lively as before in the meadow.

Luckily all the other little critters and the horses were still there.

They had more luck than the goats: the poor critters!

I want to close this chapter with this image -
 an image which I will cherish for ever!

It was such a happy time then.

September 16, 1997

Good friends 

Happy days!

I wished that I could turn back the clock!

Next time we will go further with: Being Separated . (January 1998)  

Bye, bye! 

Hope to see you again